


Bound

by livingroomsucculent



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Addiction, Angst, Anxiety, Flashbacks, Friendship, Hospital, Hurt Spencer Reid, Hurt/Comfort, No Slash, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Panic Attacks, Rape Aftermath, Revelations Spoilers, Spencer Reid Needs a Hug, Spencer Reid Whump, Tobias Hankel - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:07:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28404459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livingroomsucculent/pseuds/livingroomsucculent
Summary: Reid was walking home from the subway after a long flight home and a tough case. When a woman asks him for directions late at night, he is too tired to question it. After all, the last thing he suspects is to be kidnapped just a block from his home.(Post-revelations)
Comments: 24
Kudos: 116





	1. Intro

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! This is my first fic on here so constructive feedback is welcomed/appreciated :)  
> The first chapter doesn't have any warnings; the rating is for later chapters.  
> Please comment and let me know what you think so far, I'll update soon!

Emily Prentiss was sitting in her car after an evening trip to the supermarket, dreading the inevitable task of putting groceries away. She had parked in the small lot next to her apartment complex. Her watch read 10:00 PM.

  
"I really need to stop going to the store so late," she thought to herself. But she had been too preoccupied with finishing paperwork and spending some quality time with Sergio to go in the mid afternoon, and then her mother had called her wanting to catch up for seemingly hours. Knowing that Sergio was probably hungry (again), she began to reach for the door. But as soon as she grabbed the handle, she noticed a dark SUV speeding down the road. While it wasn't unusual for people to be driving this late, it certainly was out of the ordinary for cars to drive so fast down this road. It was so riddled with potholes that people tended to take it at about 15mph. The hairs on the back of Emily's neck stand up. She instinctively reached for her gun, and was momentarily startled when she found it wasn't holstered on her belt.

  
"Of course it isn't there, it's Sunday night and all I did today was go to the grocery store," she muttered. Ducking down, she looked out the rear window just in time to see the car speeding past her parking space.

  
"THUD"

  
Just as the SUV passed, she heard the sound of something heavy hitting the gravel and dirt mixture on the side of the road opposite of her car. Once the SUV turned off of the road, she cautiously exited her car, thoughts of groceries having long since left her mind. She crept closer, trying to get a look at what was tossed from the car. As she got closer it was clear that it was a "who," not a "what" that had been thrown from the moving vehicle. She broke into a run, hoping, praying that whoever this was was still alive. As she crossed the road she began to assess the situation. It was too dark to get the make or model of the car, let alone the plate number. Plus, Emily definitely hadn't expected anything like this to happen when she first saw the vehicle. The victim appeared to have no shoes or clothes, and they were curled into the fetal position with their head turned into the cold earth. Nearby was what appeared to be a small satchel. She reached the other side of the road and glanced both ways to make sure the SUV wasn't coming back. Crouching down, she began to speak.

  
"Can you hear me? Are you all right?" She reached to check for a pulse, not bothering to grab gloves in case she were to have a body on her hands. This person's life was more important than preserving what might be a crime scene.

  
"Nnn...uunghh.." the victim groaned.

  
"It's all right, you're safe now, look at me, okay? I am going to call you an ambulance.. Hey, it's okay, look at me, you're safe now."

  
The victim slowly turned his badly bruised face toward Emily. His tear stained, hazel eyes struggled to meet hers.

  
"...Spence?"


	2. An Ordinary Evening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will put warnings at the beginning of each chapter. Please don't read if you know the contents could be upsetting to you! Anyway, no major warnings on this chapter.

* * *

~the previous Friday~

The jet had landed around 11:00 PM. The flight had been long, and so had the case: a serial killer in Washington State had killed dozens before the team was able to find anything linking the victims.

"As soon as you finish your paperwork, go home, and _please_ don't come back until Monday if we don't get a case. We all could really use the rest." Hotch ordered as the team exited the jet. No one complained; a few muttered a brief "thank you sir." They were all truly exhausted.

The team sat mostly silently at their desks, trying to get the last bit of paperwork relating to the case finished so they could go home and sleep. Reid, as usual, had finished his paperwork in record time and was helping Morgan and Prentiss with theirs'. Together, they managed to get through everything they needed to by close to 11:45 PM. After bidding Hotch and Rossi goodnight, they, along with JJ, began to head to the elevator.

"Pretty boy you sure you don't want a ride home?" asked Morgan.

"No, the subway runs pretty late on Fridays. Until 2AM to be exact, unless its a holiday in which case they don't stop. Plus it'll be mostly empty so I can be alone with my thoughts." Replied Spencer.

"Weirdo," Emily teased, gently elbowing the genius. Reid did his best to ignore her

"Are you sure you'll be okay in the dark kid? Its not too far out of my way of you'd just let me take you." Morgan objected.

"Derek I'm an FBI agent too you know, I think I can handle myself. Plus, in the majority of assaults the victim personally knows the assailant. And I'm pretty sure no one that I know is out to get me."

"Except maybe Morgan now," teased JJ, noticing Morgan's displeased expression.

"All right all right kid, you win," said Morgan with a look of slight dissapointment. The elevator ding interrupted their conversation, and they exited the little metal box and headed their separate ways.

* * *

Reid's walk to the subway was uneventful. He was right about the cars being empty; he only saw a few other people riding. At his stop he hopped off, looking forward to curling up in bed with a book and some hot tea after such a long case. _One more block until I reach my building,_ he thought to himself after a few minutes of walking. He stared down the sidewalk as he picked up his pace slightly, eager to unlock the door to his warm apartment. To his surprise, as he turned the corner he saw a woman, no older than 25, clutching a paper map and looking around frantically. She looked terrified. As soon as he came into her view she flagged him down.

"S-sir? Excuse me?" Reid slowed to a stop as he approached her.

"Are you all right?" asked Spencer, his brow furrowed in concern. Normally, he would have suspected something was up, but even the mind of Spencer Reid gets tired sometimes.

"Oh, If you don't mind, do you know the area? My cell died and I can't remember my friends number, but she is supposed to pick me up on the corner of um, I think Rockwood and 11th, a-aand I can't figure out how to get there?" She stuttered.

"Here, let me see your map," said Reid. He had the map memorized of course, and he knew exactly how to get to that specific intersection. He decided the easiest way to direct the woman was through the map. Reid was so absorbed in trying to decide the best way to relay the information and if it was appropriate or too creepy to offer to walk her to her destination, he barely took notice of the late-night jogger approaching from behind. It wasn't _unusual_ , especially for men, to be jogging in the dark after all. What _was_ unusual was how terrified, yet unsurprised the woman looked as Reid felt a fist forcefully meet the back of his head. He flew face-first into the sidewalk, barely twisting to the side before he felt his right half collide with cold pavement. _At least it wasn't my face_ , he thought. Before he could even start to get up he felt a prick in his arm coming from the direction of where the woman was. Strong arms hooked around his neck and arms, trapping him as the world began to spin out of control.

"Ssir I think you have... have the wrng perssn" Reid slurred.

"We cn talk abt it jus pleease set me dwnn nnd.."

Reid felt a strong hand clasp over his mouth. He could hear the man breathing heavily, from the jogging or the attack he didn't know, or maybe it was both, yeah probably both... Everything began to fade to black as Reid felt himself being dragged into a vehicle. The last thing he remembered was being thrown into the back and hearing the engine roar to life before he fell into a restless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for all the cliffhangers! I can't help myself :)  
> The next chapter will probably be pretty graphic, if not the next one then the one after so consider yourself warned. It might take me a few days to write it how I want it too. I have had the idea in my head for a long time, but I hadn't started writing my thoughts out until yesterday at like 2AM. (Which is the best time to write tbh). Anyway thanks for reading this so far <3


	3. A Dirt Road

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some mention of drugging here. Nothing too intense-- that will be later. Oh and some language. I doubt that is much of an issue considering all of the other tags on here;;

“I..I did exactly what you said I don’t understand,” said a woman in a soft, shaky voice.

”You have so stop acting so damn scared! You’re lucky that guy stayed with you. He must have been dumb not to just leave you there. If you can’t _be_ attractive you can at least _act_ attractive,” spat a gruff, masculine voice.

”I’m sorry.”

”You better be, bitch. Don’t make me hurt you again. You know better.”

* * *

Reid’s eyelids felt as if they were coated in lead. His head pounded as he struggled to open his eyes and figure out where he was. Everything was blurred and he fought back a wave of panic as he began to take in his surroundings.  
  


_I’m in a moving vehicle. It’s dark. I am on the floor, it’s muddy. Countless bacteria and germs are probably on this floor. Why am I thinking about that right now, of all things? I can’t move my arms or legs. Was I drugged?_

The events from earlier came trickling back into his memory as the fog in his mind began to slowly drift. _The woman must have injected me with some sort of drug cocktail, probably containing some sort of date-rape drug and a neuromuscular blocking agent, which is blocking the signal from my nerves to my muscles so I can't move them. And the date-rape drug is making it hard for me to remember what happened before,_ he concluded.

Reid tried to mentally start a profile on the man. He was strong enough to knock him out and get him into the vehicle. He was able to keep this woman compliant. It wasn't clear if the unsub was using some other sort of manipulation; it seemed to be just the threat of force. That and the blitz attack pointed to a disorganized individual. Plus, he had kidnapped him in a residential area where neighbors could have seen the incident. On the other hand, he was able to create and administer a combination of drugs that did what he wanted without other negative effects. This means he was organized enough to complete at least some college education or formal training. _This combination doesn't make any sense. Why would someone be both organized and disorganized?_

"Um, I think he woke up". The woman's voice interrupted his thoughts.

"WHAT? How? Your drugs worked on the last guy! Did you do it wrong? I thought you knew what you were doing! Stupid BITCH!" the man roared. He pulled the vehicle over and Reid felt it suddenly dip. _We must be on a dirt road, or at least somewhere without curbs or sidewalks._

"I-I'm really sorry, he's really skinny so m-maybe he has a high metabolism? And I'm only a student not a-"

"Just SHUT UP! Go get something to make him sleep. And don't even think about trying to run off or I might have to whip you again."

Reid tried to move but found that he still couldn't. He still had (at least in some capacity) his mind. _So the woman mixed the drugs. Maybe the man is disorganized. But why would she help him? And who was this guy, anyway?_

"Wh-who" *cough* "a-are you?" Reid managed to slur. "Whatdoyou want? Where arewe goinn? LetME GO I'm 'n the FBI-"

"Like they would recruit a little bitch like you into the feds," he spat.

"Nno I they recruit'd me cos I havf ann.. eidetic memry, I cn-"

"Megan HURRY, the twink is talking and I need him to save his voice for later," interrupted the man. Reid internally cursed himself for not focusing on getting information and letting himself blab on. He just had _such_ a bad headache, and his mind still felt incredibly foggy. 

The woman, who he now knew was named Megan, hurried back from the trunk and opened the side door that Reid was facing. Since the car light turned on when she opened the door, he was finally able to get a good look at her. He focused on memorizing her appearance. She was shorter than the average female, looking to be about 5'1. She was curvy and had straight, thick, dirty-blonde hair pulled sloppily into a ponytail. Her face was long; she had light brown eyes and thin lips. She was wearing a navy blue shirt with jeans, but he couldn't see her shoes. She wasn't as unattractive as the man had seemed to suggest. She shifted him into more or less a sitting position, and held his head upright from the back of his neck.

"Drink this," she said, almost in a whisper.

Reid tried desperately to move his head away from the plastic cup of clear liquid that she was bringing slowly to his lips. She looked him in the eyes, her expression full of sympathy for the poor agent. She leaned closer to him, causing Reid to slightly panic.

"It's easier for both of us if we do what he wants, so please just drink this. It's just a sedative and I promise it won't hurt you," she whispered urgently. She slowly poured the liquid down his throat and helped him to swallow it before gently laying him back onto the floor, taking the seat by his feet. Reid tried desperately to turn and get a look at the man, but it was no use. He heard the engine start and seatbelts click. He fought to stay awake, but he could no longer keep his eyes open. All he could do was listen to the sound of tires rolling against a dirt road as he drifted into a restless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not have any plans of creating any sort of romantic relationship between Reid and this woman. He is just trying to be observant, and he feels bad for her. He is also pretty clearly out of it. Anyway hope you enjoyed; the warned-about stuff is in the next chapter so please please do not read on if it will upset you! As always thanks for reading, this has gotten a lot more attention than I anticipated! So tysmm!


	4. Reality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took a bit longer! I wanted to be able to post some of the more intense stuff as I promised before but I ended up putting it off another chapter. But I wrote two chapters, so you don't have to wait! There isn't really anything too bad in this chapter; a lot of it is setting the scene.

A hard slap brought Reid halfway back to his harsh, new reality. It was dark, damp, and freezing cold. Where were his socks and shoes? The rest of his clothes seemed to be intact. He tried to move but found his wrist and ankles bound tightly to a chair.

“Nonono this  _ cannot _ be happening again,” muttered a panicking Reid

  
  


_...you’re pitiful! Just like my son. This ends now. Confess your sins _

_ Confess!? I haven’t done anything! Tobias help me! _

_ He can’t hear you. He’s weak. _

_ Tobias! _

_ Confess your sins. _

* * *

“Help.. nonono, I’m not a sinner, Tobias HELP HELP ME”

Reid's face was met with another harsh slap.

“Who the hell is Tobias? Didn’t I tell you to shut up,  _ boy _ ?” A gruff voice that sounded nothing like Hankel shook him from the flashback overtaking his mind. Dozens of thoughts raced through Reid’s mind.  _ Am I having a schizophrenic episode? How did I see Hankel? Where am I?? _ His heart was pounding so hard he was confident the man could hear.  _ The man, the man is here, who is he? I need to get a grip! _

Taking a deep, shaky breath, Reid tilted his chin up and tried to make eye contact with the man. He looked to be just taller than Reid: 6’2, if he had to guess. He was much more stocky than Reid, though. He had a sharp jaw, piercing blue eyes and he was quite muscular. He wore an unusually clean looking flannel with no shirt underneath and black jeans with no belt. He also had on brown leather boots and black socks. 

“Who are you?” managed Reid, feeling less and less drowsy as the time passed.

“You don’t need to know,” he said, glaring. Realizing that he wasn’t going to make any progress this way or through any sort of emotional appeal, Reid tried logic.

“Um, you know I actually  _ am _ an FBI agent,” stated Reid, hoping that he sounded more confident than he felt. “You took my bag, right? If you look in the internal side pouch my ID is there, see for yourself.” 

The man glared at him for a moment before shouting at Megan, who must have been outside somewhere nearby, to fetch him the bag from the car. Reid took this opportunity to take in his surroundings. He focused on taking long, even breaths as he looked around. He was in what appeared to be a shed with no windows. Based on how recklessly loud the man was being, he guessed that he was pretty far from civilization; maybe at a vacation home or cabin in the woods. Inside the shed, there were only a few wooden chairs and a metal toolbox. The floor was a mixture of dirt, rocks, and a little bit of grass. There were chains bolted to the wall in several locations.  _ That can’t be good. _

Once Megan came back with his bag the man began to throw Reid’s books onto the dirty ground, rummaging through his belongings. Reid frowned, but he knew it wasn’t worth arguing with this sort of unsub about something so insignificant.  _ Was this an unsub now? _ Reid pushed that thought aside as the man finally found his ID, along with his gun - which he pocketed.

“Well well, my little twink  _ is _ a fed. I guess I’ll have to hide your body  _ real _ good. Be right back,  _ boy.” _

Reid winced at hearing the man say  _ “boy” _ the way that he did _. _ It sounded far too much like Hankel. In fact, this situation was like Hankel all over again, but the team didn’t know he was missing this time. And they wouldn’t worry until he didn’t show for work Monday, and by then it might be too late. He decided that his only current option was using logic to try and persuade him to not kill him. After all, if anyone could talk someone out of something, it was Reid.

* * *

“I’m so sorry,” whispered Megan suddenly. “He found my address, and he doesn’t know but I live with my younger brother, and I  _ can’t _ let him get hurt by this man. I mean he’s 19 and he can take care of himself, but...” she trailed off

“It’s okay, really. Anyone would do the same thing in your position. It’s like handing your wallet to an armed robber; you do what you have to do to keep yourself and your loved ones safe.” 

Beyond thankful for the distraction of talking to someone other than that man, Reid continued to whisper back to her. “I actually am an FBI agent even though I don’t look like it. They recruited me as a behavioral profiler because I’m smart, not because I’m strong. Anyway, I think I might be able to scare him with the repercussions of killing a federal agent if he were to get caught, and I could convince him to let me go, since I have no idea where I am, and he doesn’t appear to be the smartest person..”

“You’ve got that right,” replied Megan with a slight smile. It faded as she began to shift uncomfortably. “Um, he, um.. He.. I should tell you that he rapes his victims...”

Reid felt sick to his stomach. His hands started to shake. _Think about it like it's a case. It's just a case._ He considered his options, trying to separate himself from the situation. There was no way he would be able to talk the man into letting him go before the man got what he wanted from..from his body. But, Reid considered, this could be a good thing in a way -- allowing such a shameful thing to happen to him could be enough for him to put on the act of being too ashamed to tell anyone, and if he was just compliant and the man got what he wanted, he might be able to talk his way out. If not that, he was hoping he could last until at least Monday, and that Garcia could track where his cell had been. Doing his best to ignore the pool of dread churning in his stomach, he started formulating a plan.

“O-oh-okay, um, so if I let him do what he wants, then I-I think I can persuade him to let me go under the guise that I won’t tell if I feel too much shame..” he explained to Megan, his voice much more shaky than he intended. “A-and then I can consult with my team, which can do things like cognitive interviews on me, and we can profile his behavior, a-and then I  _ promise _ we will find you. I will find you. I don’t think there is any other way because we won’t be able to overpower him and we can’t risk him stalking you, so we will have to take him in, so you’ll just have to make sure I don’t die before Monday and you HAVE to do everything he says or he might be onto you and.. and..a-and..” Tears started to silently stream down his cheeks as the reality of the situation once again hit him.

“Shh shh.. I-I can do that. I’m a nursing student, and he, um, makes me mix the drugs and stuff. But I can slip you some painkillers, and I promise I won’t give you anything that could kill you. I’ll..I have to give you the amount he wants b-because I tried doing less before, but he noticed and both me and the victim paid for it. And I am  _ so sorry _ for what I’ll have to do.” Tears began to well up in her eyes. They heard the sound of heavy footsteps and metal clinking together. Realizing that he was coming back, Megan backed into the opposite wall to Reid’s chair and stared at her feet. The man dragged in a long, cylindrical metal pipe looking to be about 2” in diameter, several chains, and four sets of handcuffs.

“Go get the drugs,” he ordered. Megan, muttering a quick “yes sir,” scurried off.

Leaning in to nibble at Reid’s earlobe, he whispered:

"Now the fun can really begin."


	5. Friday Evening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Rape, non consensual drug use, I mean at this point you've read the warnings. Enjoy >:)

The man began by removing the binding on one of Reid’s wrists and attaching one end of handcuffs in its place. He raised Reid’s arm and attached the other end of the cuffs to one of the chains on the wall.

“You know the punishment for killing a federal agent is really severe,” explained Reid, trying to appear unfazed by this process. "If you were to let me go but you got caught, you’d do a lot less time than if they caught you and you had killed me. If I don’t show up for work or turn up dead, the FBI  _ will _ link it to you. They already have reports of similar crimes and are in the process of looking for you,” Reid bluffed, hoping that he was correct about the man’s intelligence and he wouldn’t catch onto any holes in his explanation.

The man looked shocked. Scowling, he turned his full attention to Reid. He seemed to think deeply for a moment before blurting:

“Well how do I know you won’t just tell on me when you leave?” he growled.

“Uh-um-- well if I’m correct in assuming that you’re going to..to..” Reid struggled to get the words out. “T-to  _ rape _ me.. I-I don’t think that I w-would report that. In fact several surveys concluded that men are about 74% less likely than women to report a rape, and women aren’t all that likely in the first place, a-and… and I have no idea where we are so I can’t even use that to track you. So statistically speaking, your odds are much better if you toss me somewhere, alive, back near where you got me rather than killing me. And it will be easier on you to let me go because you don’t have to hide me; in all likelihood I’ll end up hiding myself..”

Reid was interrupted by the door creaking open. The woman held two small pills, which she handed to the man and immediately left. He popped one and leaned in close to Reid’s ear.

  
  


“Well if you’re a  _ good boy _ , I might just let you go”

* * *

Reid reluctantly swallowed the pill and tried to focus on steadying his breathing.  _ It can’t be toxic if he swallowed one too _ , he reassured himself. The man unbuttoned and unzipped his own jeans, pulling his hardening member into the frigid air. He pulled a knife from his pants pocket before tossing them to the side. He proceeded to cut off Reid’s clothing, layer by layer until only his underwear remained. He gently fondled himself before continuing to chain Reid to the wall. He attached each wrist to a separate chain, separating his arms. He was suspended at a height so he couldn’t quite sit, but he could kneel. The man finished off his masterpiece by using long chains to secure each leg to a separate wall, making it difficult for Reid to move very far. Not like he could -- the man’s muscles could almost make Derek Morgan jealous. He tried not to think about Derek as he felt the man beginning to rub his stiff erection between his ass cheeks. The man finally cut off Reid’s underwear, leaving him completely exposed.

Reid gasped in both horror and surprise when he felt the man grip his own package and begin to rub.

_ Three point one four one five nine two six five three five nine.. _ He started mentally reciting as many digits of pi as he could remember. He started to feel himself becoming erect.  _ How?? How is this happening I am definitely NOT turned on by this..this FREAK-- _

“You like that,  _ boy? _ ” The man began to finger Reid’s asshole as he rubbed.

_ The pill must have been something like Viagra, and a high dose too, _ Reid suddenly realized. There was no going back now. He was going to be a victim of rape, and there was nothing, _nothing_ , he could do to stop it.

He winced as the man slid one, then two fingers into him. He pumped them in and out and stretched him using a scissoring motion. It was incredibly uncomfortable. The man suddenly curled his finger and pressed against Reid’s prostate, causing him to involuntarily arch his back.

“Mmm, you  _ do _ like it, little slut.”

The man focused his attention on Reid’s prostate as he continued to pump Reid’s dick. Eventually, to Reid’s relief, he finally pulled his finger out and let go of him. He left to go rummage through the toolbox, bringing back a cock ring.

“We’re just getting started handsome,” purred the man, attaching the ring to Reid’s still hard member. Reid fought back tears as the man positioned himself at Reid’s rear, poking his asshole with his hard (and apparently quite large) package. He tried desperately to relax as the man attempting to shove it inside him, knowing that tensing up would only make it hurt worse.

“D-do you have lubricant?” Reid stuttered, hoping that the man did have some and might be willing to use it. After all, Reid didn’t know how long he was going to be here, and he needed to protect his body as much as possible in order to last through the weekend.

“Oh look, he’s getting into it now, aren’t you,  _ boy, _ ” the man cooed. He rummaged through his toolbox until he found a small clear tube. Slathering it over Reid’s and his own dicks, he reentered Reid, much more violently this time. He began slamming his huge cock into Reid, clearly not at all concerned for the well-being of the agent. He started pumping Reid’s cock in rhythm with his own painful thrusts.

Spencer was in so much pain: both physically and mentally. He gripped the chains binding his wrists so tightly his knuckles turned white and his arms shook. He stared blankly at the wall as he felt himself getting closer and closer to orgasm. The man was hitting his prostate, and while the fucking was painfully stretching and ramming him, part of it felt pleasant. The ring, which was preventing him from finishing, felt  _ too _ tight around him as the man rubbed him.  _ How could he allow a pill to control his body like this? How could he have let this happen in the first place? Why didn’t he stop to think a woman asking for directions in the middle of the night was suspicious? _ His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the man loudly groaning, his whole body pressed into Reid’s back. He let go of Reid’s cock, only to tightly grip him by the hips with both hands. Reid _ached_ from being stimulated without release. He felt so conflicted: his body longed for release, but it was the last thing his mind wanted. The man rammed,  _ hard _ , into Reid, breathing heavily and letting out disgusting moans. With a few final hard thrusts Reid felt the man finally slow to a stop, as thick, sticky fluid dripped out of him and down his legs.

“You’re  _ beautiful _ ,” was all the man said before pulling his own pants back on and leaving the shed.

Reid was humiliated. He felt disgusting, used, violated. How could he face the team, his _family_ after this? Assuming he ever got to see them again. He began to sob, choking on his own tears. Shaking violently, he managed to scoot the chair back toward him using his leg, his vision blurry with tears. He sat down and tried to do a mental check in on his body. His dick felt quite uncomfortable from the ordeal, but his erection was finally starting to go down.  _ I’m disgusting _ , he thought to himself, tears streaking down his cheeks. He was sore and freezing. He curled up to the best of his ability in the chair and tried to sleep for hours, but he found himself completely unable. He wept and wept until no more tears came and the morning sun began to peek through the crack under the door.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok wow so I was pretty nervous about writing this but I think it turned out well. Please let me know what you think of this chapter in the comments! btw that fact about rape report percentage was made up because I couldn't find the data, so don't quote me. ALSO: Reid is going to be stuck there until he's dropped off and Prentiss finds him, so that man has plenty of time with Reid left. What would you all like to see happening in the next chapters? Let me know and I will do my best to write it in. This is your chance! ;)


	6. Weekend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: descriptive rape, non consensual drug use, flashbacks, beating, a little bit of blood... This chapter kind of devolved into porn, not gonna lie. But it'll be relevant trauma for him to sort through in later chapters after Prentiss finds him. ANYway, sorry this one took significantly longer, I started classes again about a week ago and things got busy. I'm still going to be working on this fic though, don't worry!

Spencer’s stomach growled. He felt starved, parched, and nauseated at the same time. And other than the fact that it was probably Saturday, Reid had no idea what time it was.  _ The average human can go about three weeks without food, but only 3-4 days without water, _ he reminded himself.  Since he likely wasn't going anywhere until Sunday night or Monday morning (assuming he got out of here at all), he decided that his main priority was getting water. It felt like only minutes passed before the man came back for presumably more. Reid tensed.

“Well good morning beautiful,” cooed the man, entering the shed and gently stroking Reid’s cheek.

Spencer said nothing, trying to avoid eye contact with the man who raped him.

“I said, good MORNING!” shouted the man, punching Reid hard under his right eye.

“You’re supposed to answer back,  _ slut _ ,” he spat.

“S-sorry sir, good morning,” gasped Reid in reply, taken aback by the sudden violent turn.

“That’s better.” The man quickly pulled Reid’s boxers off, leaving him once again completely exposed.”

“You’re so  _ pretty _ .” He grabbed Reid by the hair and tried to kiss him, but Reid instinctively struggled against his chains and turned his head away.

*Crack*

Reid’s nose was met with the palm of the man’s hand. He felt warm blood begin to trickle down his face onto his lips. The man kicked Reid in the shins a few times and punched him forcefully in the ribs before turning around and heading out.

“Don’t resist next time” was all he said before slamming the shed door behind him.

* * *

Megan arrived shortly after he left. After quickly pulling his underwear back on, she pinched his nose until the bleeding subsided and wordlessly cleaned the blood off of his face and chest.

“Can.. Is there any way you could bring me some water?’ whispered Spencer nervously.

“Of course,” she replied warmly. “I’ll bring you some painkillers too if that’s all right.”

Reid nodded. She soon returned with a plastic bottle of water and two small pills. She placed the pills on Reid’s tongue and did her best to pour the water in his mouth so he could swallow them.

“I wish I could get your hands down from up there,” she said, glancing at the restraints above his head.

She gave Reid about half the water before leaving, promising to check in later. After too little time, the door creaked open and the man returned.

His mouth crashed against Reid’s before he had time to react. Violating his mouth with his tongue, the man began to moan and claw at Reid’s boxers. He squeezed his eyes shut and did all he could to take his mind away from the situation. He tried desperately to come up with some sort of statistics, math problem, physics theory, _anything_ , but his mind was, for the first time in his life, empty of extraneous thoughts. He felt a wave of relief as the man pulled away from him, but that feeling went away as fast as it came when the man pulled his own pants down and shoved his erection down Reid’s throat. He gagged and choked and struggled against his restraints as the man relentlessly fucked his mouth. Reid had a pretty strong stomach, handling all of the crime scenes, but this was pushing his limits. He choked back a wave of nausea, knowing that the man would certainly hurt him worse than before if he threw up on him. He gagged as the man finally released deep into his throat and forced him to swallow it. This time, when the man left him alone again, he took Reid’s boxers with him, leaving nothing to cover him up.

The rest of the day went similarly to how Friday night went; he was given more viagra, and the man... took advantage of him, repeatedly. To Reid’s relief, he had continued to use lubricant, so there was presumably minimal tearing.

* * *

Sunday

* * *

Reid awoke early in the morning to the sound of birds. Thankfully, Megan had managed to give him a blanket so he wasn’t  _ quite _ as cold as the night before. The first half of the day began much like the past two days, with Reid enduring similar abuse. Once the evening came however, everything changed.

“I want to fuck him on the ground; give it to him after he saws,” Reid overheard the man saying.

The man came in and loosened Reid’s chains so he could reach the floor. He stretched his arms in relief. They hurt to move, having been bound above him for so long.

“Cut this pipe here, and don’t ask questions,” he said, handing Reid an old looking hacksaw and gesturing toward the pipe he had brought in on the first night of Reid’s captivity.  _ Thank god I got the tetanus vaccine _ , he thought to himself. Knowing better than to question the man, he nervously started sawing a piece off where the man had gestured. His hands were shaking from fatigue, but he slowly was making progress.

“Now I’ve been thinkin’, and I talked to Meg, and you should be celebrating because I’m gonna let you go,  _ boy _ .” Reid’s heart leapt.

“But, before I ditch ya, I’m gonna have some fun.” Reid kept sawing, ignoring the new pool of dread forming in his stomach. ”The girl’s gonna give you something to make you  _ all mine _ . And I might even let you cum.”

Having little idea of what the man was about to do, despite being a profiler, he continued staring at the pipe as he worked. He finished cutting the piece off and turned around to see Megan coming toward him with water, what looked like the viagra, and a needle. A needle?

Reid’s head started to spin.

_ What are you doing? Don't. Please don't.  _

_ It helps. Don't tell my father. He doesn't know they're here.  _

_ Please. I don't want it. I don't want it. Please.  _

“Please, please no I don’t want it, Tobias--”

“Who the hell is Tobias,  _ boy _ ? Your previous lover? Shut your mouth, slut!” shouted the man, picking up the longer end of the pipe and swinging it full force into Reid’s ribcage. Reid heard a crack and doubled over as the man took a swing at his side.

“Didn’t I tell you to obey me?” He continued to beat Reid. “That’ll teach you a lesson.”

Reid crumpled to the ground, pain coursing through his body.

_ I’ve been clean for one year, two months and fourteen -- no, fifteen? Days. I’ve been clean for over a year. This can’t be happening. _

“I’m sorry,” whispered Megan, startling Reid.  _ When did she get over here? _ He felt the all too familiar feeling of a band being tied around his arm and the prick of the needle just before the rush of heroin hit him. She quickly left the shed.

“This is my  _ special _ treat, so you better enjoy it.”

Reid nodded, feeling out of it. He felt like he was floating; the pain went away and he felt himself smiling.  _ Was he happy? _

He felt his cuffs being removed, but he knew he was in no state to run away. Before he could even try to move, he felt his arms being tightly bound behind his back. The man roughly shoved him onto his back and spread Reid’s legs, penetrating him with no preparation or lubrication.

Reid faintly felt himself being stretched and torn. The man kissed him roughly on the mouth as he repeatedly thrusted into the young agent. Reid vaguely felt himself becoming erect. He knew something felt good, but something hurt. He felt the man’s dick rubbing his prostate; he felt the man’s body rubbing against his erection.

“Ohh, you like that don’t you.” Reid was only able to give a half nod in reply.

Both of the their breathing became heavier. The man’s thrusts became more forceful and rapid. Reid had never felt more confused in his life. The drugs, clouding his mind, were confusing him. He was being taken advantage of; being abused and held captive. But his body, under the influence, was responding so positively; it all felt so _wonderful_.

The man continued his rapid pace but sat up on his knees, staying inside the agent. He used his left hand to hold Reid against his body so he could keep thrusting deep into him, leaving his right hand free to roam. Reid involuntarily arched his back as the man pinched his apparently sensitive nipples, rolling them one at a time between his thumb and middle finger before pinching them. He traced his fingers across Reid’s chest, making him shiver under the light touch. Reid felt the man’s hand around his balls, gently squeezing them before he started to stroke his shaft. His eyes rolled back.

The man eventually stopped rubbing Reid in favor of grabbing him with both hands and focusing on fucking him as aggressively as possible. the agent felt his own orgasm continuing to build until he spilled across his own chest. Groaning in pleasure, the man finished soon after, leaving warm, sticky liquid dripping out of Reid. Dazed, he looked down to see red along with the white.

“Wow, you felt  _ amazing _ , so damn  _ tight _ , I’ll be having dreams of you for a looong time," cooed the man. "One last thing and I guess I’ll have to find myself a new slut. I don’t think he’ll be as good as you, though.”

Reid felt the man roll him over onto his stomach. He felt something cold and sharp near his entrance. Confused, Reid tried to turn around but was suddenly overcome with pain as he felt the cold, jagged pipe he sawed earlier shoved deep inside of him. He cried out as he felt it slice his insides and lodge uncomfortably deep inside of him. Tears flowed freely from his eyes as his naked body was dragged into the car. He felt a pinch. His body was shaking, he was sobbing uncontrollably. As the car’s motor whirred to life the agent quickly passed out in the back seat, from both the sedative injected in him and the sheer amount of pain he was experiencing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um, yeah I guess that just happened... poor Reid:( Emily will find him next chapter though, so don't worry!
> 
> Pleasepleaseplease let me know what you think and if you want to see anything happen in the comments (characters to appear from the team later, etc). It means a lot to get feedback :)


	7. Back to Emily's Unordinary Evening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter picks up where the first one left off. There isn't going to be anything here worse than I've already written about. Enjoy!

“...Spence?” Emily couldn’t believe her eyes.

“Mm…’mly? Eml’y? D-don’t tell any’uhn pleass”

“Shhh, Reid, I’m not telling anyone ok? Just take some deep breaths for me.”  _ Why is this the first thing he’s concerned about?  _ Switching her focus to the emergency at hand, Prentiss dialed 9-1-1 and shrugged her jacket off while speaking to the operator. Balancing her cell between her ear and shoulder, she gently covered a shivering, naked Reid with her coat as she let them know where she was. Having been told to stay on the line in case they had trouble finding her, she put her phone on speaker and set it down on the pavement. She grabbed Reid’s satchel and set it next to them.

Reid was trembling, silent tears streaming down his eyes. Prentiss was heartbroken; Reid was always the unlucky one, but this? This looked worse than what she’d heard happened with Hankel. He could barely even look at her, and she was one of his closest friends. Blinking back the tears threatening to come, she tried to focus on comforting Spencer as best she could. 

“Spencer?” Reid squeezed his eyes shut.

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s just me.” She reached out to place her hand on his shoulder, but he completely freaked out at the sudden contact.

“NODON’TTOUCHMESTOPSTOP!” Reid shrieked.

Prentiss jerked her hand away, taken aback.

“Spencer I am  _ so _ sorry, I won’t touch you again without asking okay? I promise” Reid was sobbing uncontrollably.

“Reid? Can you tell me what hurts?”

“Evv-” *sniff* “Evv’rywhere,” Reid choked between sobs. 

_ This can’t be happening, _ Reid thought once again.  _ Why did Emily have to be here? Why does she have to see me like this? Why can’t I just take care of myself? Why did I even let this happen? _ He felt panic once again setting in. He knew that as a profiler who studies human behavior, he should know how to better control his emotions. He knew that he needed to relax his muscles, take deep breaths, focus on other things, etc. But he couldn’t bring himself to do any of that. Instead, be curled up into a tighter ball, trying to make himself as small as possible.

“Reid, can you breathe with me? Can you do that for me?” Asked Emily gently. Reid nodded, looking up at her. She took long, slow breaths and Reid struggled to match them. After about a minute he managed to calm down enough to speak coherently.

“Sorry,” was all he said.

“Hey, you have nothing to be sorry for. Is it okay if I look you over for injuries?” Reid nodded, grimacing at the thought of Emily seeing  _ all _ of him in his current state. 

“I’m going to have to touch you and move the jacket around, is that all right?”

“Yes,” replied Reid softly, staring off into the distance.

“Good, okay, just try and relax…” she trailed off, checking his face and head (seemingly fine except for some bruising, and he didn’t look to have a concussion). She winced when she saw how beat up his ribs and chest were; she hoped none of his ribs were broken. 

“Uh, Emily? H-he, um, there’s a m-metal pipe…” He trailed off.

Lifting the jacket where it covered his private areas, it didn’t take Prentiss long to notice the metal pipe sticking out of him.

“Oh my god,” she muttered in disbelief, gently re-covering the area to try and preserve some of Reid’s modesty. She knew better than to try and remove the pipe herself; it likely was already causing internal tearing and bleeding, and the last thing Reid needed at the moment was to bleed out in this parking lot. She sat down next to Reid’s head and watched over him for the few more minutes it took the ambulance to arrive. Once the medics jumped out, she did her best to inform them of his condition, making sure they asked before touching him.

“Sir, we are going to move you to a stretcher, okay?” stated the female responder. Reid nodded hazily and they got him onto the stretcher and into the ambulance as gently as possible. Prentiss, despite knowing that it would be smarter to drive to the hospital so she would have her car there, hopped in the ambulance with Reid. She could always take a taxi back to the parking lot to get her car. Besides, her highest priority at the moment was making sure Reid felt safe. The groceries sitting in her car didn’t even cross her mind.

Once the ambulance started moving, the inner FBI agent in Reid came out. Reid felt the delayed adrenaline pumping through his body as he began to rapidly explain his condition to the first responders.

“There’s, uh, a pipe with a jagged edge I’m guessing eight to ten inches in my anus. If my ribs aren’t broken they’re bruised badly, and my head was hit but I don’t think I have a concussion. I was dosed with what I think was heroin a few hours ago, and I was given viagra regularly over the past few days. Tell the hospital staff no narcotics. And do NOT send a report to the police without my explicit permission.”

“Will do, sir,” replied the other EMT, placing an oxygen mask over Reid’s mouth. “We’ll take good care of you, I promise; just focus on breathing for me okay? You must be in a lot of pain.”

Reid didn’t even realize he had started to hyperventilate. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to focus on leveling his breathing. But all he could see when he closed them was that man, his kidnapper, his rapist. His breathing began to further escalate as he was mentally transported back to the shed.

_ “Oooh, you like that, don’t you my little slut.” _

_ “You want more? I’ll give you more, boy.” _

_ “You’re so damn tight, I could fuck you all day. In fact, I think I will” _

Prentiss, taking notice of Reid’s sudden discomfort, gently touched his hand before taking it in both of hers. She gently rubbed circles on his palm.

“It’s okay Spencer, I’m right here, you’re  _ safe. _ Just relax for me, okay?” Emily continued to softly speak words of comfort to Reid.

Something clicked in Reid’s mind. He wasn’t in the shed, he was in an ambulance. And Emily was here too. He opened his eyes and looked over towards her.

“That’s better, just focus on me, okay?”

Reid stared blankly at the hand Emily was holding. He couldn’t bring himself to make eye contact just yet. He managed to somewhat steady his breathing as the ambulance sped to the hospital, its lights flashing and sirens blaring. He winced in pain with each bump the vehicle encountered, squeezing Emily’s hand in response. He barely processed the ambulance arriving at the hospital and him being wheeled into an operating room. He faintly felt the prick of an IV in his arm, and he barely remembered counting backwards from ten as anesthesia brought him into the most restful sleep he’d had in days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was a bit shorter, but I felt like it belonged on its own. Hope you enjoyed this little bonding moment between Spencer and Emily, and as always please leave comments on what you think and kudos if you are liking this fic <3


	8. Waking Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi it's 4am so time for another chapter! Thank you all for being so patient as I drown in classwork.
> 
> TW for this chapter:  
> -mentions/description of rape (again(  
> -drugs/addiction  
> -anxiety/panic  
> **in this chapter there is some panicking. Some of the physical effects are things that I have actually experienced: if you think that this might be upsetting or triggering, possibly because you have experienced something similar, please proceed with caution! It's only like one paragraph where the physical effects are discussed btw. I just want to be extra careful**
> 
> Anyway please enjoy this angst/fluff!

Emily sat in the waiting room, fidgeting with the end of her sleeve. She knew that Reid in all likelihood would recover physically, but he looked  _ far _ worse than he did after the Hankel case. And, having since gotten really close with Spencer, this hurt her much worse than the Hankel case. 

Should she call Hotch? She was pretty sure Reid hadn’t discussed the release of his medical information between him being wheeled out of the ambulance and being put under for surgery, and she hadn’t had the time to discuss her relationship to Spencer with the EMT’s. Hotch was his medical proxy, and the paperwork was in place allowing him to receive updates about Reid’s condition in case of emergencies. On one hand, without calling Hotch she wouldn’t be able to get updates on his condition or be able to take care of him after he woke up from surgery, at least until he was coherent enough to ask to speak to her. And she doubted that he would want anyone to know about the incident since he seemed adamant about her not telling anyone before. On the other hand, contacting Hotch would guarantee that she would be able to stay by his side in the hospital. But would it break his trust? She had promised him that she wouldn’t tell anybody.

Emily sighed, continuing to roll and unroll a strap on Reid’s satchel. There wasn’t a good option, but there was a better one, she decided. She flipped open her cell and dialed Hotch’s number.

“Hotchner,” mumbled a groggy voice.

“Hi Hotch, it’s Emily. Do you, ahh, have a few minutes?”

“Uh, yeah give me just a second.” Emily heard the rustling of blankets and the distinctive flick of a light switch.

“Okay. Is everything all right Emily?” Hotch finally asked, his voice filled with concern.

“Sorry to wake you sir, it’s..” Emily hesitated, knowing that the last thing Reid would want was his boss knowing what happened. Reassuring herself that it was in Reid’s best interest, she continued.

“It’s Reid. He’s in the hospital, in surgery. You have the paperwork in place to receive medical information in emergencies, right?”

“Wait, Reid’s in the hospital? How did you know he was there? Are you there too?”

“I, um, I found him earlier. And called an ambulance and rode with him. But he wasn’t in a place where he was able to give verbal consent to me hearing any of the medical information. And I know that he will want to be left alone, but I  _ know _ that he needs the support. And please don’t tell anyone else about this right now.”

“Hold on, what happened to Reid? Actually hang on, I’ll get in my car and head over. You can give me more of the details on the way,” stated Aaron.

“All right, thank you,” Emily responded, dread pooling in her stomach.

A few minutes later, Emily heard him again.

“Hey, I just got in the car. Which hospital am I headed to?”

* * *

Hotch arrived in less than 20 minutes, hair sticking up and bags under his eyes. He headed straight to the front desk, acknowledging Emily’s presence with a slight nod in her direction. She heard him talking to the woman at the desk, asking when he would be able to see Reid and showing her his ID. She told him that she would update the doctors working on him and have them send someone out as soon as they had any information. He sank down into the chair next to Emily’s, looking defeated.

“Okay,” he sighed, “fill me in”

Emily began to explain everything that had happened after she had gotten back from the store, making sure to not gloss over any detail. After all, Hotch was a profiler too, and she knew that he would want to figure out who did this to him as much as she did.

“Wait.” Hotch said suddenly. ”Reid said that they gave him what? Heroin? Why?”

“I don’t know. He didn’t really talk about what happened. I only saw his state at the time. I’m so worried about him, Aaron. And he made me promise not to tell anyone, but I just know that after what he went through, especially after being dosed, that it’s a bad idea to leave him alone.

“I think you did the right thing,” Hotch said, reassuring her.

They sat in silence for what felt like hours. Silent tears trickled slowly down Emily’s cheeks. Hotch had his face buried in his hands, still trying to process what had happened to his youngest agent.

It wasn’t  _ fair _ how the worst things seemed to always happen to Reid, Hotch decided. Since the Hankel case, Hotch had been especially worried about Reid’s safety. Yes, he was a grown man, but he was still so young and innocent.  _ At least he was before all of this. _

“Aaron Hotchner?” A man’s voice cut into the silence. The two agents immediately snapped to attention.

“Yes, that’s me. And this is Emily Prentiss, who is also close to Reid and authorized to receive information about him through me. The man checked over the papers he was holding, apparently making sure he wasn’t breaking any rules before he spoke. He took a deep breath.

“Your friend is expected to make a full physical recovery. He has several bruised ribs, one of which is mildly fractured. He has injuries to his head, but no concussion. He does have severe bruising all over his body. There’s bruising around his neck, but we checked his respiratory system which appears to be fine. We successfully removed the pipe, but it required several stitches to repair the internal tearing caused from it being inserted. It was hard to tell because of the pipe, but it appeared that he was raped several times over the course of the past few days. He was also confirmed to have been dosed with heroin. We found sedatives and some form of viagra in his system as well, which further indicates the possiblity of rape. While his body will recover with time, he will need a lot of support to make an emotional recovery. You can see him now, but he will most likely be sleeping for a while.”

“Thank you doctor,” Hotch said.

“One last thing,” the man said. “He may want to do a rape kit for evidentiary purposes; I can have the nurses talk to him about it unless you would prefer to discuss it with him. Normally we would just have the nurses ask, but given the severity of the situation I thought you might want the option.”

“We’ll tell him, thank you,” responded Emily. Hotch nodded in agreement. The two walked silently to Spencer’s room. Peeking through the door they could see that he was still asleep.

“Emily, I think that I should probably wait in the waiting room for him to wake up. I don’t want to stress him out; he doesn’t need to know that I know yet. As much as I want to stay with him I don’t think it’s the best idea,” explained Hotch.

“Okay, you’re probably right,” responded Emily. “I’ll bring it up to him when he’s woken up and calm.”

“I’m sure he’ll understand, at least eventually. I would like to check on him while he’s asleep though.”

Emily opened the door as silently as possible. The hospital was eerily quiet save for the beeping of machines; it was almost 2 in the morning. The agents silently approached their youngest. Hotch looked Reid over silently, before gently placing his hand in his hair, stroking it gently. His fatherly instincts kicking in, Hotch leaned down and lightly pressed his lips to Reid’s forehead.

“It’ll be okay Spencer,” he whispered gently. Emily swore she saw tears in his eyes as he left the room.

* * *

Reid woke up to bright, white lights. The shed was dark; he wasn’t there. So where was this? He heard beeping. He smelled disinfectant.  _ Hospital. _

_ Why am I in a hospital? _

_ Oh. _

All at once, the painful memories came crashing down like glass onto concrete. He could feel the man on him; in him — he could feel wet lips crashing into his own and he couldn’t do anything to stop it. He looked to the side, trying desperately to take in his surroundings as a means of pulling himself out of a flashback. He noticed the IV tubes going into his arm and into the machines.  _ The handcuffs. They were keeping him bound to the wall. He needed to get them off. _

Spencer tried to struggle against the IV, but he was so out of it and in so much pain that he was barely able to move his hands toward the IV binding him to the shed walls. His covers felt too tight. Why couldn’t he move?

“G-get’mm off, h-help!” Spencer tried to thrash against his constraints with all that he had, but he was barely making progress.

“Spence, hey hey Spencer shhh.” Emily, noticing that Reid had woken up and begun to struggle, had rushed to his side.

“NO DON’T TOUCH ME GO AWAY” Spencer shrieked. Emily heard hurried footsteps approaching from the hallway.

“Spencer, it’s Emily. You are at the hospital. You’re safe. I promise. I’m going to protect you here okay? No one can get you.” She continued to speak comforting words as Reid trembled, tears running down his face.

Spencer slowly but surely once again became aware of his surroundings. Choking back sobs, he tried to get out an apology.

“Em, Em I’m.. so sorry” Spencer managed.

“Shhh, you don’t have to be sorry. It’s okay now. Can I sit with you?” Reid nodded sheepishly. She pulled a chair next to his bed and sat down.

“Spencer, is it all right if I touch your arm?” He nodded hesitantly. Emily placed her hand gently on his upper arm near his shoulder, gently rubbing up and down. He finally began to relax at the comforting, rhythmic touch.

Two female nurses rushed inside in response to hearing Reid’s outburst. They carefully checked his vitals and began to ask questions.

“How are you feeling Dr. Reid?”

“I’m fine.”

“Can you breathe okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Does anything hurt?”

Everything hurt. His ribs ached every time he took a breath. His body hurt to move. And the pain in his lower region was unbearable. His pain wasn’t only physical: the events that had taken place hurt him far worse than any physical pain could.

And then he remembered.

_ The man grabbed him with both hands and fucked him as aggressively as possible. He felt his own orgasm continuing to build until he spilled across his own chest. Groaning in pleasure, the man finished soon after, leaving a warm, sticky liquid… _

He was high. They gave him heroin. And he had orgasmed at the doing of his rapist.  _ Rapist. _ Reid felt so dirty, so disgusting. He was  _ raped. _ And he  _ enjoyed  _ it. He felt panic settling in once again. He felt chills rush up his arms. His breathing sped up and he felt his heart pounding. Dread pooled rapidly in his stomach, threatening to overtake him. He felt dizzy.

“...Doctor Reid, are you all right?”

He  _ needed _ to make this feeling go away. 

“It..everything hurts, a lot. Can I have something stronger?” Reid managed to reply, trembling. 

_ Fucking addict, _ he thought, disgusted with himself. But he couldn't bring himself to care. He just wanted to feel anything but the panic bubbling inside him. He wanted to be taken away to a high so far up that he couldn’t see what happened anymore.

“We can’t give you narcotics, but we can give you a bit more of what you’re on now, is that all right?” One of the nurses said, interrupting his thoughts.

“Why not?” snapped Reid, irritated. “I’m in pain. Isn’t it your job to help people in pain?”

“Reid—“ started Emily.

“No, shut up Emily,” Reid interrupted sharply, shoving her hand off of his arm. “You can’t even begin to understand the pain I’m in.”

“Doctor Reid, I’m sorry but I can’t give you anything stronger. Would you like some more of the non narcotic painkiller?” said the nurse sternly.

“Fine,” said Reid, turning his head into the pillow, defeated. The nurses adjusted his IV and left silently. Reid did his best to take deep, slow breaths to stave off the anxiety threatening to overtake him.

After a few minutes of silence, Emily spoke.

“Reid? Do you want to talk about it?”

He didn’t move. It looked like he was starting to cry.

“Spencer,” she said, gently touching his head. “It’ll help you feel better.”

“No, the morphine will make it feel better. I’m already an addict anyway,” he replied, sniffling.

“We will get through it, okay? I’m here for you and I’m not leaving. Now tell me what’s hurting you before I get a therapist and make you talk to them.”

That seemed to motivate Reid a little bit. He sat up as best he could, wincing in the process. He looked Emily in the eyes before shifting his focus to the floor.

“When I was high I... I couldn’t stop my body.”

The implications of that statement hit Emily like a truck. Reid looked so full of shame— his thin figure trembled as hot tears streamed down his cheeks.

“He took me Friday night and raped me nonstop from Saturday morning until Sunday night, when he dosed me and then did it again. And he made me cut the pole with a hacksaw. Please don’t make me talk to a therapist.”

Reid clutched the blanket. Emily blinked twice, shocked. She collected herself before replying.

“I won’t make you talk to anyone, I’m sorry. I am so, so sorry you had to go through this,” she said softly, stroking the back of his hand. ”No one, especially not you, should have to go through this. I’m right here for you, okay?” She moved closer to him, holding out her arms to offer a hug. Doing his best to ignore the pain, Reid put his arms around her, clutching the back of her jacket. He buried his face into her neck as she gently wrapped her arms around him. He closed his eyes, sobbing into her warm, comforting embrace.


End file.
